Went out on Friday. There was an exhibition of student graphic design and photography work at the local University, so went there with a friend and then out for food and a few drinks. I say a few, I got quite drunk.

Was a good night, I enjoyed just doing something a bit differnt, going to the exhibition, and just having a chilled out night. Plus I hardly ever go out here, I usually go out back home at the weekend.

Which is where I ended up last night. Wasn't planning on drinking as I really need to save some money, so was just going to drive. However, I bought myself a new dress, leggings and a necklace so thought as I'd failed to not spend any money I might as well go all out and spend even more on a night out. A bit of backwards logic.

Plus I don't think I would have had a very good night if I'd been sober, not after the week I've had, and I felt really self conscious about how I looked and I just felt like I needed a few drinks to take the edge off. For some reason I just had a really bad feeling that something bad was going to happen.

When we first went out I felt really uncomfortable, I just felt so self conscious and paranoid. And, my friend was trying to subtly tell me that some girl who doesn't like her and her friend had been stood next to us, but her name is similar to the EX's, and when trying to lip read in a noisy bar, and when she was looking so serious as if something really bad had happened, I thought that's what she said. That he was at the bar with a girl. I spent the next ten minutes shaking and feeling sick, until I worked out from following conversations that she hadn't been talking about him.

I felt so bad I was considering just going home but I'm pleased I stuck it out, I had a really good night once I'd got over that.

I didn't get very drunk though, as I seem to be getting quite depressed when drunk. I'm ok in town, but it's when I get home it hits me. So last night I was ok.

Seen Cricket Boy. I accidently caught his eye on a couple of occassions, and I just turned away. He was stood near me for a while, then all of a sudden he just came up behind me and grabbed me round the waist, and said 'Come on, dance with me'. I pulled away from him and congratulated him. He asked what for, and I just replied 'The wedding'.

He was so not impressed, he shook his head and walked off. It was so funny.